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thinking aloud.
i feel slightly silly writing in this. as if anyones actually going to read it but it's nice to think someone might be reading about my silly little life.
today is sunday, 8th june 2008 and it was 80 degrees. i went to the local police headquarters for an open day. they had a dog display showing how the police dogs work. it made me wish my west highland puppy was more like that. just wishful thinking though. although i didnt like to say, i did enjoy it. although i was paranoid about how i looked and how pale and wobbly my legs looked in shorts. and how i didnt think my shoes went with my outfit. and i felt my heart fly everything my 18 months old cousin said my name. which was alot. although i pretend it annoys me when she shouts me everytime im not with her, secretly i love it so much. it makes me feel happy that at least one person wants and needs me. i love her so much. when her + her mum are at my house and my cousin sleeps in a travel cot upstairs i always sneak upstairs and curl up in the cot with her and listen to her sucking her thumb as i snuggle into her warm skin. it gives me time to get away. and when she kisses me i put up with the horrible slobber because she's most likely one of my favourite people in the world. and id do anything for her.
i have a secret too. when im hungry i hug my mum. because every time i hug her she asks me to eat something. and i seem to have lost the ability to eat off my own back as it makes me feel like a pig. but been asked to eat something makes it seem better. and i love hugging her, shes always there for me. i love her alot.
and although i say i HATE my dad, i love him too. i just wish he'd love my mum like he used to and be happy around us. instead of sitting on his own or on the computer barking abuse at everyone who bothers him.
i'll leave you now.
sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite.
peace
x
today is sunday, 8th june 2008 and it was 80 degrees. i went to the local police headquarters for an open day. they had a dog display showing how the police dogs work. it made me wish my west highland puppy was more like that. just wishful thinking though. although i didnt like to say, i did enjoy it. although i was paranoid about how i looked and how pale and wobbly my legs looked in shorts. and how i didnt think my shoes went with my outfit. and i felt my heart fly everything my 18 months old cousin said my name. which was alot. although i pretend it annoys me when she shouts me everytime im not with her, secretly i love it so much. it makes me feel happy that at least one person wants and needs me. i love her so much. when her + her mum are at my house and my cousin sleeps in a travel cot upstairs i always sneak upstairs and curl up in the cot with her and listen to her sucking her thumb as i snuggle into her warm skin. it gives me time to get away. and when she kisses me i put up with the horrible slobber because she's most likely one of my favourite people in the world. and id do anything for her.
i have a secret too. when im hungry i hug my mum. because every time i hug her she asks me to eat something. and i seem to have lost the ability to eat off my own back as it makes me feel like a pig. but been asked to eat something makes it seem better. and i love hugging her, shes always there for me. i love her alot.
and although i say i HATE my dad, i love him too. i just wish he'd love my mum like he used to and be happy around us. instead of sitting on his own or on the computer barking abuse at everyone who bothers him.
i'll leave you now.
sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite.
peace
x
